Not much to report today.  I’ve just been sitting here watching my goatee grow.  We are making some nice progress!  I’d say,  in certain places it’s at least 1/8th of an inch long.  In only 3 days.  Anyone have a few good tips for stimulating facial hair growth?

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     It struck me as I was driving home last night at close to 8pm how much of my life doesn’t belong to me. Most days, I’m here at the station for meetings by 9am. I’m lucky if I’m home by 7:30. I see my life flying by not as MY life, but as an employee and a daddy and not much else. By the time I get my son to bed it’s 9pm. I do some chores, then it’s off to bed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I love my son, but the candle is burning at both ends and at some point I’m going to need a break. I have no idea where that break is going to come from though.

    I bought an RV last fall and have it set up in a campground a few yards from my parents RV. My original intention was to spend weekends with my son, my parents, and relatives who would be hanging out with us. I can already see that plan going down the tubes. I’ll be working LOTS of weekends this summer. One saturday on the air. No big deal. Add in concerts, charity events, and all of a sudden I’m down to a handful of weekends off over the entire summer. I’m thrilled to be gainfully employed, but I also want to be a good daddy and spend time with my son. I’m not even getting into “me” time, as a single father that doesn’t exist any more. I’m lucky if I have time to do the dishes let alone pick up a book. I know I’m not the only person in this situation. How in the world do you find time for yourself?!

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For all of my friends who are approaching their childrens graduation from High School, with some level of sadness, I have to share this: 

BEVERLY BECKHAM

I was the sun, the kids my planets

By Beverly Beckham  |  August 27, 2006

I wasn’t wrong about their leaving. My husband kept telling me I was. That it wasn’t the end of the world when first one child, then another , and then the last packed their bags and left for college.But it was the end of something. “Can you pick me up, Mom?” “What’s for dinner?” “What do you think?”

I was the sun and they were the planets. And there was life on those planets, whirling, non stop plans and parties and friends coming and going, and ideas and dreams and the phone ringing and doors slamming.

And I got to beam down on them. To watch. To glow.

And then they were gone, one after the other.

“They’ll be back,” my husband said. And he was right. They came back. But he was wrong, too, because they came back for intervals — not for always, not planets anymore, making their predictable orbits, but unpredictable, like shooting stars.

Always is what you miss. Always knowing where they are. At school. At play practice. At a ballgame. At a friend’s. Always looking at the clock mid day and anticipating the door opening, the sigh, the smile, the laugh, the shrug. “How was school?” answered for years in too much detail. “And then he said . . . and then I said to him. . . .” Then hardly answered at all.

Always, knowing his friends.

Her favorite show.

What he had for breakfast.

What she wore to school.

What he thinks.

How she feels.

My friend Beth’s twin girls left for Roger Williams yesterday. They are her fourth and fifth children.

She’s been down this road three times before. You’d think it would get easier.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without them,” she has said every day for months.

And I have said nothing, because, really, what is there to say?

A chapter ends. Another chapter begins. One door closes and another door opens. The best thing a parent can give their child is wings. I read all these things when my children left home and thought then what I think now: What do these words mean?

Eighteen years isn’t a chapter in anyone’s life. It’s a whole book, and that book is ending and what comes next is connected to, but different from, everything that has gone before.

Before was an infant, a toddler, a child, a teenager. Before was feeding and changing and teaching and comforting and guiding and disciplining, everything hands -on. Now?

Now the kids are young adults and on their own and the parents are on the periphery, and it’s not just a chapter change. It’s a sea change.

As for a door closing? Would that you could close a door and forget for even a minute your children and your love for them and your fear for them, too. And would that they occupied just a single room in your head. But they’re in every room in your head and in your heart.

As for the wings analogy? It’s sweet. But children are not birds. Parents don’t let them go and build another nest and have all new offspring next year.

Saying goodbye to your children and their childhood is much harder than all the pithy sayings make it seem. Because that’s what going to college is. It’s goodbye.

It’s not a death. And it’s not a tragedy.

But it’s not nothing, either.

To grow a child, a body changes. It needs more sleep. It rejects food it used to like. It expands and it adapts.

To let go of a child, a body changes, too. It sighs and it cries and it feels weightless and heavy at the same time.

The drive home alone without them is the worst. And the first few days. But then it gets better. The kids call, come home, bring their friends, and fill the house with their energy again.

Life does go on.

“Can you give me a ride to the mall?” “Mom, make him stop!” I don’t miss this part of parenting, playing chauffeur and referee. But I miss them, still, all these years later, the children they were, at the dinner table, beside me on the couch, talking on the phone, sleeping in their rooms, safe, home, mine.

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So, I was in the bathroom this morning before work. You know, brushing my teeth, putting on deodorant, fixing my hair, etc. While I was going about my routine, I caught my own eye in the mirror. For some weird reason, I started trying to picture myself with some facial hair. See, I am 32 and never had a moustache, goatee, or beard. Don’t get me wrong, I grow hair. It’s just patchy and kind of white trashy.

The last time I tried to grow something and groom it, it was a soul patch. but it looked stupid. Plus, the hair there is blonde so I have to be in the sun for anyone to notice it. That was about 5 years ago. I was so ashamed of my facial hair situation that I made a point to always be clean shaven.

That changes today! I am going to throw caution to the wind and make another attempt at growing facial hair. I have been shaving every two days for a few years now. Maybe my time is now… I am going to get a few days of foundation growth. In the meantime, which style do you suggest? A full beard, goatee, chin strap, a fumanchu, handlebars, etc….

Leave your comments below or email them to newman@wbee.com.

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I am still reeling from this weekend.  I know it is cooler today and was rather gloomy yesterday but what a weekend we had.  Bood took advantage of the weather to get quite the jump start on the yard.  I saw many of you doing the same thing as well.  Things are looking green and as if they are alive once again and I could not be happier.  I am a fan of winter, make no mistake about that.  Having said that, the time for winter has come and gone and I say bring on the sun!!!  Shake off the doldrums, grab the lawn chair and reclaim that extra room that Mother Nature affords you for a precious 3 months out of the year!    Just one request….easy in the thunder and lightening, please!!!

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